What Makes You Tick?
Educator Barbara Falk advises parents on how to understand their children's temperaments.
Why is it, parents wonder, that one of their children works hard at school and another doesn't? Or that one child is devastated by losing and another can shake it off? The answer, according to educator and lecturer Barbara Falk, lies in their inborn temperaments.
Ms. Falk, the most recent speaker in the Montrose School Parent Enrichment Speaker Series, described the four classic temperaments: choleric, sanguine, melancholic and phlegmatic. Ms. Falk explained that this temperament breakdown was developed by Hippocrates, observing, "it's amazing how much human nature hasn't changed in more than two thousand years." Audience members exchanged significant looks and chuckles as Ms. Falk described typical behaviors of the four personality types, clearly recognizing people they knew in the descriptions.
Ms. Falk was careful to distinguish between temperament, or natural disposition, and character. “Your character is what you do with your God-given temperament.” She called temperament our “biological hardware,” which is innate and can’t be changed. Character, on the other hand, is “biological software” and not innate; rather, each individual must build it himself. “You are fortunate to have your daughters in a school that takes on the building of character with gusto,” she noted. “Montrose teaches virtue to each student, no matter what her temperament.”
“My goal is to help you understand their children, to be able to lead them and bring out the best in them,” Ms. Falk told the assembled parents. “Each temperament must work through its own specific challenges.” A choleric child, for example, can be relied on to do as she is told, but may need to work on patience. A phlegmatic one can seem lazy, and needs help to overcome her tendency to take the path of least resistance. A melancholy type “takes everything to heart,” so parents should be gentle while helping her learn to overcome her sensitivities. And a sanguine child may not always be counted on to follow through, but will thrive on affirmation as parents guide her character development to become more reliable.
“The goal is to reduce the fear of the unknown in the other people in our relationships,” said Ms. Falk. “We are often mystified by other people’s reactions. It’s important to consider what temperament they are coming from. This is a critical life skill: to accept the temperament of the people in your life, and to accept your own.”
Back
Ms. Falk, the most recent speaker in the Montrose School Parent Enrichment Speaker Series, described the four classic temperaments: choleric, sanguine, melancholic and phlegmatic. Ms. Falk explained that this temperament breakdown was developed by Hippocrates, observing, "it's amazing how much human nature hasn't changed in more than two thousand years." Audience members exchanged significant looks and chuckles as Ms. Falk described typical behaviors of the four personality types, clearly recognizing people they knew in the descriptions.
Ms. Falk was careful to distinguish between temperament, or natural disposition, and character. “Your character is what you do with your God-given temperament.” She called temperament our “biological hardware,” which is innate and can’t be changed. Character, on the other hand, is “biological software” and not innate; rather, each individual must build it himself. “You are fortunate to have your daughters in a school that takes on the building of character with gusto,” she noted. “Montrose teaches virtue to each student, no matter what her temperament.”
“My goal is to help you understand their children, to be able to lead them and bring out the best in them,” Ms. Falk told the assembled parents. “Each temperament must work through its own specific challenges.” A choleric child, for example, can be relied on to do as she is told, but may need to work on patience. A phlegmatic one can seem lazy, and needs help to overcome her tendency to take the path of least resistance. A melancholy type “takes everything to heart,” so parents should be gentle while helping her learn to overcome her sensitivities. And a sanguine child may not always be counted on to follow through, but will thrive on affirmation as parents guide her character development to become more reliable.
“The goal is to reduce the fear of the unknown in the other people in our relationships,” said Ms. Falk. “We are often mystified by other people’s reactions. It’s important to consider what temperament they are coming from. This is a critical life skill: to accept the temperament of the people in your life, and to accept your own.”
An independent school for girls in grades 6-12
Inspired by the teachings of the Catholic Church
Inspired by the teachings of the Catholic Church
